Tuesday, September 8, 2015


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I find confidence to be one of the most attractive qualities in other people.  Those individuals who aren’t afraid to rock a crazy fashion trend, don’t care what other people think of them, and go after their dreams without fear or naysayers getting in their way.  Confidence is something that I’ve always struggled with and that I’m trying to improve upon.  I strongly believe that if you don’t believe in yourself no one else will, and there’s a lot behind the old adage you gotta fake it till you make it.  I think it’s human nature to have self-doubt and compare ourselves to others, but it’s in what we do to get out of that negative place and the skills we harness that can improve our confidence in the long run.  Here are nine tools that have helped me become more confident and feel ready to take on the world...

1. Dress to impress. 
I always feel better about myself when I take pride in my appearance and spend a couple extra minutes in the morning to do my makeup and put together an outfit I love.  How you feel about the image you present to the world plays a huge part in your confidence and when how you appear is in sync with how you want people to view you, confidence easily follows.  One of my favorite quotes by Edith Heard is, ‘You can have anything you want in life if you dress for it.’

2. Be aware of your body language. 
Shoulders up, make eye contact, walk with a purpose, smile!…all these subconscious behaviors affect how we feel about ourselves and how others view us.  Social psychologist Amy Cuddy researched the effect of “Power Poses” on students studying at Harvard and the results are fascinating.  Check out her TED Talk HERE.

3. Stop comparing yourself to others.
I am the biggest culprit of this!  Working in a place where I am one of the youngest employees and writing a blog I find myself constantly comparing myself to others….how did that person get more Bloglovin’ followers than me?  How did so and so get to go on that amazing trip?  Why did that person get promoted before me?…the list goes on and on.  But the only thing that comparing ourselves to others does is make us feel inadequate and basically like crap.  We need to focus on the things that are going well in our life, the things we’re good at and realize the only person we should be competing with is ourselves.  Get those blinders on and focus on you.

4. Pump it up. 
Nothing puts me in a good mood faster and gets those confident juices flowing like a great jam.  Listening to music that amps you up before a big game, presentation or job interview is scientifically proven to put you in a better mood and raise your confidence level.  To get you started check out the Spotify playlist I put together below.

5. Embrace an alter ego.  
Everyone gets nervous, even Queen B, hence why her alter ego “Sasha Fierce” was created.  When we’re feeling meek it’s great to channel a role model or someone we aspire to emulate.  For me I love Bethenny Frankel, Sarah Jessica Parker, and Jennifer Lawrence.  These three women embrace who they are unapologetically, speak their mind, and set their own trends.  I love SJP’s eccentric style and the attitude she exudes that, 'if you don’t like what I’m wearing then it’s your problem not mine.'  We can all take a page from her book.  

6. Believe in yourself.  
How you think about yourself and talk to yourself greatly affects your confidence.  We need to be kind to ourselves!  At its core confidence is the thought that you believe in yourself to accomplish any task even in the face of fear and failure.  No one will believe in you unless you do, and there are no limitations to the self except those you believe in.  Our thoughts affect our emotions and in turn our actions.  You are what you think and believe, and we are our own self-fulfilling prophecy.  So if your goal is to be the best Cronut baker in all the land, think it, believe it, do it, and don’t let anything get in your way.

7. Do Something.
Not just anything, something that gets you out of your comfort zone.  Been meaning to take a cooking class? or ask that cute barista on a date? get your tush out the door and do it!  The scariest things in life usually end up being the most worthwhile and by making a conscious effort to push ourselves we will grow because of it and gain more confidence.

Image via Pinterest
8. Phone a friend.
When you’re feeling down there’s nothing like a quick chat with a friend or your Mom to lift your spirits.  And when you’re feeling like you’re not good enough it’s great to hear from someone who thinks you’re the bees knees to snap you out of it.  It’s nice to get a pep talk from someone you value and trust and have people in your life that support you no matter what.

9. Visualize success.
Visualization may sound all new age-y, but the psychological research backs it up.   Studies found by simply visualizing an event the same neural activity in your brain is activated as actually doing that thing in real life.  If you have a big event coming up that your nervous about, or a goal your striving towards visualize only happiness and success and it will in turn boost your confidence.   Like right now I’m visualizing I’m going to meet the man of my dreams picking out a Mango at Publix tomorrow and we’ll fall madly in love and vacation in Santorini.  Hey, it could happen.

Whenever I’m feeling down following these nine tips always makes me feel better and leaves me with the belief that I can take on the world.  What do you do to build your confidence?  Let me know in the comments below!

xoxo Nicole

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