Friday, February 13, 2015

SINGLE GIRLS GUIDE TO VALENTINE'S DAY

girls night
      Is it just me or is it ironic that Valentines Day is falling a day after Friday the 13th… a dark omen perhaps?               If you couldn’t already tell from the title this isn’t going to be a mushy post about how wonderful love is and how Valentine’s Day is the best day ever.  Single girls unite and lets make it through this blasphemous day together.  And to look on the positive side at least the holiday doesn’t fall on a work day this year.  As much as I love to witness you oohing and ahhing over your carnation bouquet and conversation hearts I could really do without.  Now next year this post may look very different when I finally convince Josh Murray (you know, the hunk from The Bachelorette) to marry me but until then I will wallow in my single misery and embrace my motherhood duties to a canine.  And while we all drown ourselves in white wine and bad decisions on Tinder, maybe this year we can look at all the positive things about still being single.   


The Best Things Ever About Being Single:
  • You can make out with anyone you want, whenever you want.  That hot guy over there at the bar.  Yeah, I’m coming for you.


  • Whenever we cook a meal we always have lots of delicious leftovers because no one else is eating it.  And I can’t bring myself to purchase a "Cooking for One" cookbook.  I got to hold on to what dignity I have left. 
  • The toilet seat is always down.  As much as I love the little presents you leave me because all of a sudden your arms don’t function and you forgot how to lift an object, I’ll pass on sitting on your pee.  Hard pass.


  • We have full control of the remote.  Cue the Real Housewives Marathon. 
  • Second that, for music selection.  Taylor Swift, 24/7, on repeat.


  • Our life decisions are never tied to someone else.  We can move to a new city, go back to school, we don’t have to worry about staying in a city for so and so.  We have no attachments, which is pretty fricking awesome and freeing.
  • Think of all the money we save by not having to buy gifts for the BF.  All that cash going towards Xbox games and cologne can now swiftly be rerouted into our Sephora shopping carts.
  • Not having to pretend you like that shitty present.  Tickets to a sporting event? Are you for real.  Did you not get my subtle hints in the form of my weekly emails titled “gift guide.”


  • You don’t have to shave.  This requires time and effort that I just don’t have.  And if you think I’m shaving just so I can enjoy the silky smoothness of my own legs you’re delusional.
  • The only person you have to dress is yourself. How many times do I have to tell you that sweater vests are not appropriate attire.
  • You can gain a couple pounds without anyone noticing.  I went through a solid two week guacamole phase and my jeans paid the price.  No one should have to witness that.


  • You have emotional stability in your life.  I love you, I hate you, I love you, I hate you.  Get me off the roller coaster. 
  • You can engage in what Sex and the City refers to as “Secret Single Behavior.”  Tweezing my eyebrows, face masks, lounging around braless, me singing all of the tracks to Frozen because I think I’m Idina Menzel: all activities that should be witnessed by no one.   

So there you have it ladies all the fabulous things about being single.  And at the end of the day the best thing about being single is knowing you’re not settling by being with someone that you know isn’t right for you.  If there's anything else you love about being single that I didn't mention please share it in the comments below!  I hope you have a wonderful Valentines Day, whichever way you spend it, and I'll see you guys back on Monday!
All images in this post via tumblr.com

12 comments:

  1. Hahahah, YES to all of this. Especially the gifs. So funny. Hope you have a good one!! xoxo

    Annie Reeves

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    1. Thank you Annie, hope you had a great Valentine's Day!

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  2. Nicoleeeee I love this and it's perfect that you posted it on Galentine's Day! <3 <3

    I'm living for my secret single behavior now - watching Friends for 18 hours at a time, eating Oreos in bed in my flannel PJ set with the hole in the sleeve, walking around with a Biore strip on my nose. No one needs to see these things.

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    1. Haha I can just picture it now. Happy Galentine's day Lise!

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  3. Hahah I love this! Definitely made me feel better about today! And I wanted to let you know I nominated you for the Liebster Award on my blog! http://ashbam.com/liebster-award/

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    1. Haha I'm glad you liked it, that's what is was intended for. And thank you for the nomination!

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  4. Oh my! This is so hilarious.
    I so love them all especially the last one.
    Great post girl!

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  5. Very well said Nicole! I forget how much I really enjoy all these things all the time haha! Thanks for the reminder haha

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    1. Haha, no problem Moira. I'm so glad you liked it!

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